What To Do Before You Consult a Lawyer on Divorce or Separation
Divorce and separation are among the most emotionally and financially draining legal issues a person can face. In Nigeria, divorce is governed primarily by the Matrimonial Causes Act. Whether you are seeking dissolution of marriage, judicial separation, or settlement of custody and property issues, preparation before you meet a lawyer is critical.
Many clients walk into consultations without adequate facts, documents, or clarity on what they want. This often delays the process, increases legal costs, and may weaken their case. Proper preparation helps your lawyer quickly assess your situation, advise you accurately, and design the best strategy for your interests.
Steps You Can Take
1. Attempt Reconciliation (Where Safe and Possible)
- Explore family mediation, counseling, or religious reconciliation forums if the marriage can still be salvaged.
- Document these attempts. They can demonstrate good faith if the matter proceeds to court.
- Note: In cases involving domestic violence or abuse, reconciliation is not advisable. Your safety comes first.
2. Get Clarity on What You Want
- Do I want a divorce, judicial separation, or annulment?
- What arrangements do I want for children (custody, visitation, support)?
- What financial or property division am I seeking?
- Am I open to mediation, or must it go to court?
3. Organize Financial Information
- Income: pay slips, tax returns, bank statements.
- Assets: land, houses, cars, investments.
- Debts: loans, mortgages, obligations.
4. Protect Your Interests
- Secure important personal documents (marriage certificate, children’s birth certificates, property titles).
- If you fear your spouse might dissipate assets, record details of bank accounts, joint investments, and recent suspicious transfers.
5. Consider the Children
- Keep a record of who has been the primary caregiver.
- Document schooling, medical expenses, and living arrangements.
- Avoid using the children as bargaining chips. It can backfire in court.
Documents to Gather
Checklist: Key Documents
- Marriage certificate
- Birth certificates of children
- Evidence of attempts at reconciliation
- Financial records (income, assets, debts)
- Property ownership documents (C of O, deeds, receipts)
- Medical reports (if health issues are relevant)
- Evidence of abuse (police reports, medical records, texts, photos)
- Any written agreements or family arrangements already made
Common Mistakes
- Withholding information from your lawyer
- Destroying or forging documents
- Rushing into court without exploring mediation
- Talking too freely on social media
- Moving out hastily from the matrimonial home without legal advice
Misconceptions
- The man always gets the property. False. Courts consider contributions of both spouses, financial or domestic.
- Custody always goes to the mother. Not always. Courts decide based on the best interest of the child.
- Divorce is impossible in Nigeria. Divorce is possible under the Matrimonial Causes Act when grounds are proven.
- I don’t need evidence if I know my spouse is cheating. Courts need proof such as witnesses, messages, or credible testimony.
Preparing for Consultation
What to Organize
- Your timeline of the marriage
- All documents in a folder
- A written list of your concerns and goals
Questions to Ask Your Lawyer
- What are my legal options?
- How long does the process usually take?
- What are the likely costs?
- What can I realistically expect regarding custody, property division, and maintenance?
- Can we try mediation before going to court?
- How do I protect myself from harassment or threats?
Set Expectations
- Divorce in Nigeria can be lengthy due to court backlogs.
- Custody battles can be emotional and evidence-based.
- Legal fees vary by complexity. Clarity upfront avoids surprises.
Practical Insights
Tip: Keep a journal of incidents. Dates and details provide reliable evidence.
Caution: Never transfer or hide joint property without advice. Courts may interpret it as dishonesty.
Good Practice: Judges often look favorably on parents who show maturity and prioritize children’s welfare.
FAQs
- Can I file for divorce without my spouse’s consent? Yes. What matters is proving a valid ground under the Matrimonial Causes Act.
- How long does a divorce take in Nigeria? Uncontested divorce may take 6 to 9 months. Contested cases may take years.
- Will the court divide everything 50/50? No. Courts look at fairness, contributions, and children’s needs.
- What happens if my spouse refuses to appear in court? The case can proceed if the absent spouse was properly served.
- Do I need to move out before filing for divorce? No. It may weaken your case unless safety is at risk.
- Is traditional marriage recognized for divorce in court? Yes. Customary marriages are dissolved in customary courts. Statutory marriages are dissolved in High Court.
Conclusion
Preparing before consulting a lawyer on divorce or separation saves time, reduces costs, and strengthens your case. By gathering documents, avoiding common mistakes, and being clear about your goals, you empower your lawyer to give you the best possible guidance.
Disclaimer
This article is for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice. You should consult a qualified lawyer for advice specific to your situation.